Guest Blogger – Johnny Daly Visits Colombia and Likes What He Finds

Our good friend Johnny Daly flew into Cartagena from New York on July 17 for 10 days to experience the loving vibe and energy of Colombia with us.  We traveled together from Cartagena to Medellin, with some great stops along the way.  It was a fantastic trip, and we asked him to write up what he thought of his trip…..  So here it goes from the man himself:

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[by guest blogger Johnny Daly (yes, we always refer to him by two names; with a name like that, how could you not)]

First Stop Cartagena (2 days)

Welcome to the sister City of New Orleans (technically Saint Augustine FL has this honor). It’s a kind of dirty in some parts, (editor note: but also very beautiful in the old town). It’s adjacent to water, but the actual coastline resembles one big abandoned loading dock. It’s schweaty hot and you get an overarching sense that graft and disorder has been happening in this port town for the last 400 years.

BUT….if you like eating Caribbean cuisine and seafood, moving your ass, and getting fired up on local rum –  Cartagena is your personal palace.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-hlX9FUxIMPw/VciVhLBH4JI/AAAAAAAA1dk/ROvJuZ6YDuA/s144-c-o/IMG_4769.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354885691728018″ caption=”Canons pointed at the new part of the city – Cartagena” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4769.JPG” ]

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In less than 48 hours as a trio, George, Jenine and myself ate a combined 13 pounds of ceviche, saw historic landmarks where people were slaughtered, drank our weights in sweet, delicious rum and (most I) learned that salsa lessons from a reputable teacher are worth the price of admission.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bQRa4FC7L8w/VciVhGGOZuI/AAAAAAAA1dk/_BcnDAZ3uTA/s144-c-o/IMG_4739.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354884370949858″ caption=”Our hotel lent us bikes, it proved to be the best way to explore the unique colonial streets of old town Cartagena” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4739.JPG” ]

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-N19PxDFl90k/VciVhF6xhSI/AAAAAAAA1dg/ldm7wS3IEFU/s144-c-o/IMG_4743.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354884322919714″ caption=”The castle offered some amazing views of the city” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4743.JPG” ]

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Vamanos Cartegena!

(editors note – Cartagena is also a very beautiful colonial city, that is a pleasure to explore sober as well)

Therapy on the Coast! (1 day and night in Arboletes, home of the (famous?) Mud Volcano)

I could’ve spent $500 on the Upper East Side for 2 hours at a luxurious day spa getting the well know South American skin care treatment of volcanic ash mud, an ancient exfoliating secret that the Colombians have used for generations to reduce aging and keeping that healthy, active look.  Instead we just jumped in. Behold!

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[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-3BhXev3MflA/VciVhFau2LI/AAAAAAAA1zw/i9Tw_gw33B0/s144-c-o/IMG_4806.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354884188526770″ caption=”After swimming in the mud volcano, the best part is heading down to the sea to wash the impurities away” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4806.JPG” ]

12 hours of driving south through the countryside

Beautiful mountains. Lush valleys. And conscripted 20 year old soldiers with uzis every 2 miles to ensure our safety from the guerillas.

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Guatape (2 nights)

Yes, the lakes are stunning. (And even better – made by human ingenuity. Through structural engineering! Take that Tahoe!)

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Pfq_0HDD6Ik/VciVhBU4CTI/AAAAAAAA1dk/fafMXi-a7Ic/s144-c-o/IMG_1178.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354883090221362″ caption=”After spending time in Arboletes we headed to the colorful lake town Guatape” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1178.jpg” ]

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[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-mg8Q5ae0DOM/VciVhKsjlyI/AAAAAAAA1dg/LyfnVR7fa3U/s144-c-o/IMG_1202.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354885605463842″ caption=”The view from the top of El Peñón was unlike anything I have ever seen” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1202.jpg” ]

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The lush greenery is amazing. The relaxed, friendly people in this resort town are fantastic. There are luxurious gated compounds. And you can see all of it atop from El Penol – a 70 million year old, 200 meter high solid rock with a full bar and gift shop on the top. It’s practically a flawless vacation spot. Except for…

Yes, that’s paint. It’s a “G” and one quarter of a “U” on the side of the 66 million tons of solid rock. It’s…defaced. What the hell? (Via Wikipedia) On the northern face of the stone there are painted large white letters, “G”, and an incomplete “U” (only the single vertical stroke was completed). Guatapé and El Peñol had long disputed ownership of the rock, and the residents of Guatapé decided to settle the matter by painting the town’s name on the rock in huge white letters. It did not take long for the residents of El Peñol to notice the work, and a large mob was assembled to stop it. Only the “G” and part of the “U” were completed.

Some would call this graffiti, but hey – I love it. This is Springfield vs. Shelbyville. Its writing “Sucks” on the rival town’s water tower before the big game. It’s unbelievably ugly, but hey – it’s civic pride.

Medellin (4 nights)!

Welcome to the BIG CITY.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-KXcW_QRWbxw/VciVhC3J0LI/AAAAAAAA1dk/My3LGmtAQuM/s144-c-o/IMG_1278.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354883502428338″ caption=”Medellin has a cable car to help its citizens from the upper barrios commute into the center. The view is incredible, look how sprawling Medellin is” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1278.jpg” ]

Gridlock on the highways! An elevated subway system! High-end coffee shops, street performers and street food. But most of all, Medellin belongs to the artist Botero. Seriously…dude is EVERYWHERE. And no…they aren’t “fat people”…but his “interpretation” of life.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RviwKA7B1eY/VciVhJc4WxI/AAAAAAAA1dg/ZuyY2HXAO7E/s144-c-o/IMG_4825.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354885271280402″ caption=”Johnny in the Plaza Botero ” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4825.jpg” ]

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-hCvqgXJpp_8/VciVhEopYFI/AAAAAAAA1dk/VfUUpBQeFHI/s144-c-o/IMG_4835.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354883978453074″ caption=”In 1995, in this square, a bomb was planted by drug cartel members (Escobar) in this Botero Bird sculpture. It detonated during a concert killing 30 people. Botero made a replica sculpture and now the two sit side by side to acknowledge the past, but look forward to a better future” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4835.jpg” ]

Vamanos Discoteque! Drinking in the streets!

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bd3iqn5PGlc/VciVhDH9ijI/AAAAAAAA1dk/5z8wni7seiM/s144-c-o/IMG_1609.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354883572927026″ caption=”There are no regulations about drinking outside in Medellin. Here is a vendor offering an outdoor shot cart” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1609.jpg” ]

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xU5uYaASoqE/VciVhEwHHaI/AAAAAAAA1dg/5MKVi-hMh8w/s144-c-o/IMG_1613.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354884009762210″ caption=”Our first salsa club in the super fun (and less gringo) Laureles / El Estadio neighborhoods. We recommend heading out in this neighborhood” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1613.jpg” ]

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4c_av-1pLIg/VciVhLc6BzI/AAAAAAAA1dg/C-88zQ3pwuE/s144-c-o/IMG_1616.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354885808260914″ caption=”Johnny was quick to meet the table of ladies behind us – we ended up dancing with them until the wee hours of the morning” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1616.jpg” ]

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-KQcclSvPxxg/VciVhEqxkQI/AAAAAAAA1dk/wh1Aa-cWvhU/s144-c-o/IMG_1625.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354883987378434″ caption=”The ladies didn't all speak english, so Johnny had to get creative with Google Translate” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1625.JPG” ]

FUTBOL!   An excellent pregame was to be had. Open containers encouraged! Michelada carts! Music!  Chanting! Who needs a game when you can have a g’damn party in the stands with a drum line!

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[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-U8YkQ6DW5Zk/VciVhEXCBrI/AAAAAAAA1dg/Z6Oga1BE9qQ/s144-c-o/IMG_4864.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354883904571058″ caption=”Now that we were watching a Colombia soccer match, Johnny’s trip was complete” type=”image” alt=”IMG_4864.JPG” ]

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ZsKxkf2RNhA/VciVhIVCC2I/AAAAAAAA1dg/9tuZTS3HItU/s144-c-o/IMG_1673.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354884969925474″ caption=”The rowdy fans gave Johnny and George some funny hats and just like that, we were indoctrinated. Great memories Daly” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1673.jpg” ]

Other Gringo Observations

• Dogs with large balls.

  • Colombians don’t watch The Price is right. Whether it’s due to over-arching Catholicism or just machismo, man’s best friend is rarely, if ever, treated to a bris.

• Water. Agua. Por favor?

  • Hey, you want a cool, refreshing glass of water to wash down those beans, rice and whatever fried medley is on your plate? It will take a minimum of four asks to your server.  On about 80% of my meals I looked at Jenine and like a cranky little bitch asked….“Is this waiter ignoring me…ON PURPOSE? How could he!”

  • Note my pouting came as a cold beer was in my hand. The Colombians, practical people, looked at me and muttered “That Gringo has a beer. He has a drink. Shut the hell up and drink your booze. Then you can have water.”

• Subwoofers

  • Colombians don’t do Blue Tooth Bose or Dre Beats Pills – the do g’damn SPEAKERS. With amps – and they are everywhere. In the coffee shop, upscale restaurant, grocery stores, in rural streets, at the pool or in a public toilet – there is never silence. They love their tunes!

  • And sometimes, it’s great music! That latin, salsa, meurenge Tito Puente move your feet rhythm that’s just intoxicating. Many times it is not. It’s just my opinion, but the accordion should only be played by monkeys and drunk men in lederhosen.

• Exercise

  • Welcome to a 90-degree Colombian Crossfit Box! Let’s beat the piss out of you!

  [pe2-image src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-MdTUfzDzW4U/VciVhOVhpMI/AAAAAAAA1dg/NG_YrboSXOQ/s144-c-o/IMG_1582.JPG” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/115263927216347870948/Blog33JohnnyVisitsColombia#6181354886582609090″ caption=”Johnny and I hit the local crossfit gym (Fuerza) a couple times during our stay in Medellin. Really fun to work out with the locals there” type=”image” alt=”IMG_1582.JPG” ]

• Haaaaaa-mes

  • If Colombia had to go to war, there’d be no need to provide matching uniform tops – as 80% of the country wears one shirt.

  • 

In Finale

• Special thanks to the host couple.

  • George has many talents, but the man can DRIVE. In traffic, through traffic, torrential downpours, crappy roads, parking in almost impossible spaces, up outrageously steep hills all while being molested by hordes of motorbikes – George and Titus are one.

  • The only thing better than Jenine’s Spanish (muy Bueno) was her planning. All the great meals, tours and navigation made the trip. Bravo Jenine – and as always, thank for keeping my table manners honest and in-line with proper etiquette.

• What an absolutely wonderful country. They invest in national parks. Amongst 40 million motorbikes there are exclusively “new” cars.

• The people were so friendly and hospitable. Polite, smiling, fair, cheerful – and most of all fun. You can really sense this is an amazing time to be in Colombia. In the cities, life is stable. A Colombian my age – 35 – spent the first 20 years of their life in fear. And it sucked. There was no tourism – nobody in world to share the fun. Nobody to share the view.

• But now, no way. Optimism reigns supreme. And my gringo friends – they want us to come! They want you to dance the salsa, take shots in the streets, eat greasy arrepas, and get fired up on coffee side-by-side with them. So I say, as I found out first hand – grab some good friends, grab some plane tickets – get down to Colombia and have some fun!

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